Brother's Birthday

We went up to Palmdale, the residence of Shannon's father, step-mother and step-brother. It was Evan's, said brother's, birthday party this Sunday. We had a great time on our journeys and while we were there. Shannon read chapters of the Hobbit to me while we drove there. We had some great food (crab legs on Friday and Pork Ribs on Saturday). I played some video games with Evan. We enjoyed pizza on Sunday. We drove down and arrived at David Drake's for a Super Bowl party @ 4:00pm (we made really good time in getting there).

Some observations from the weekend:

God is always growing us, but it seems to never be by making us feel guilty. Sure, this is Biblical truths (2 Cor 6 I think...), but it really helped for me to experience this. The last couple years have been a struggle for me in letting go of childish things. In using the word "childish" I am referring to video games, but only relative to how I use them. I've really struggled with addiction of them over the last couple years, but I've also been learning about grace more and more since. This weekend gave me an insight as to what is unhealthy for me and always it comes down to the attitude of the heart. (I hope this can apply for various parts of your own life, reader.)

As I've matured it's been a struggle to "let go" of video games because they were all I knew about satisfaction. However, as I've learned more about love and grace through my relationship with Shannon via God's provision in my life, I've come to acquire a taste for richer things. I hope this sounds Lewis-esque if any of you have read The Weight of Glory. Video games were good for a time and I still enjoy them, but I feel like I've put all my investments in them rather than in something better. I went with what I was secure with rather than taking a risk with something new, an enterprise of great risk, but also of great reward: love and relationship. Anyway, before this becomes too long, what I've discovered in me is a greater desire for something that lasts. This whole time, even though I've known it all along, I was just scared of taking a risk in relationship and allowing it to satisfy me.

Another observation: cowardice is bad and it robs yourself of life and joy, not to mention it robs others of the gifts you have to offer. It's mentioned as the first sin of those who are thrown into the lake of fire in Revelations (that's sobering!). I've felt very strongly lately that I've been a coward in stepping out into things I'm scared of: marriage, love, school, responsibility, finances. But God's message to us is one of assurrance. We're supposed to treat His Word as a promise. He is always with us. And what suffering or humiliation can really compare with the loss of His friendship if we choose to doubt His Word? I don't want to live in shame or fear anymore. I feel like God really desires His children to shine with courage. It seems that this whole life is all about us overcoming lies, temptations and fears to prove to the darkness that God's Glory is better.

Finally, it's amazing what you associate with being married. Sunday at the birthday party all the kids were playing games and I was enjoying conversation with their parents. Weird!!! I feel like I'm not allowed at the kids table anymore at family gatherings. I'm married. This experience and my wife calling me out on some faith issues on the way home yesterday really made me feel married. It's a good feeling. ~Michael